Why God Would Never Choose Your Spouse

God so loves that He allows us to choose

Seanna Writes
4 min readDec 10, 2021


Sometime after the beginning, YHWH took a rib from Adam and used it to fashion Eve and that holy surgery never happened again. It was an exclusive, new-people-on-Earth-only event.

But finding someone who completes you is so universally craved and felt that people began to call their partners their missing piece, their person, and their rib.

I grew up hearing about a romantic “rib” mainly in Christian conversations, movies, shows, and especially recited in wedding vows. But the saying, although a Christian social norm isn’t a Christian truth. Instead, calling your spouse your rib may just be an example of what Medium Writer Jesse Dan-Yusuf explains as narcigesis, inapplicably placing yourself in scripture while taking on “….the wrong notion that all scripture points to You”.

The holy surgery of Eve getting Adam’s rib in Genesis is never mentioned again for any other biblical couple or romantic union. For all intensive purposes, this exchange is selective and intentional for them and no one else. However, it sounds nice so people say it about their own couplings and before you know it, language creates a reality and set of expectations and people are in search of a rib to feel complete.

The misinformed idea of a romantic “rib” quickly rolls into an idea of “the one” which snowballs into the falsehood of a soulmate that silently and subtly removes the component of choice in romantic relationships, especially for women.

In reality we don’t wake up with sore abdomens and incision scars next to someone God has chosen for us whether we like it or not. We choose people that check a list of things we like and support ideals we believe — right or wrong. We can go to God to approve or deny the union but He largely leaves the choice of us staying or going up to us.

The idea that God chooses our spouse, points them out, and directs us to them no matter what, takes away the free will we’ve been endowed. It’s antithetical to scripture because it’s far more loving and akin to God’s character to allow a child to choose their life and their relationships whilst always having Him to fall back on and look towards. In this scenario choice becomes far more…